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remove "opt_in" parameter from instance, consolidate duplicative managed gRPC…

Description

remove "opt_in" parameter from instance, consolidate duplicative managed gRPC test cases

Summary: removed a few places where we were still implying there was a difference between the default flow and the gRPC server flow, now that the managed gRPC server flow is the default flow.

Test Plan: BK + Azure

Reviewers: alangenfeld, sashank, prha

Reviewed By: alangenfeld

Differential Revision: https://dagster.phacility.com/D5167