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Handle it better when a managed gRPC server crashes on startup

Description

Handle it better when a managed gRPC server crashes on startup

Summary: This should not be very common, but a user did hit it when the dagster.grpc module wasn't available. Instead of crashing and then waiting 15 seconds for a message that never comes, then timing out, detect right away that the process is no longer alive while waiting for the message.

Test Plan: New Test

Reviewers: alangenfeld, sashank, max

Reviewed By: alangenfeld

Differential Revision: https://dagster.phacility.com/D5166